George Washington's dullness was a political asset — his boring, inscrutable nature meant he rarely said the wrong thing, and he was the indispensable man who kept the revolutionary army together.
Conan and Tom discuss how Washington's lack of charisma, terrible teeth, and inability to tell jokes made him a perfect leader — a blank slate onto whom others could project, and unlike Napoleon, he didn't say the wrong thing because he barely said anything. ✦ AI generated
Conan O'Brien · The Rest Is History · 2026-07-25 · original ↗
starts at this moment · 12:22
A dull leader is amazing. It's a tabula rasa. You can project anything onto Washington. He didn't say much. He I don't think he had a sense of humor at all... But isn't it brilliant that he was so boring? Because what you absolutely don't want is a Napoleon in this situation, right? He often didn't say the wrong thing because he didn't say much. And what's really funny is that he's surrounded by these brilliant men who've been trained in the classics who are very witty and they're these bon mots are flying left and right and he's just in the corner with his rotted teeth and ample hips. But what you can't take away from Washington is he was the indispensable man. He was very courageous and he kept that thing going. He kept that, you wouldn't want to spin the dial again without Washington leading these skirmishes. He really was the right guy at the right time.
verbatim transcript · starts at 12:22
12:25could never speak anything because his teeth were so terrible. A dull leader is amazing. [laughter] Yeah, it's a tabular rasa. You can you can project anything onto Washington. He didn't say much. Um he uh I don't think he had a sense of humor at all. In fact, I've read my my wife is uh very distantly is a direct descendant of uh the Powels with one L in Philadelphia.
12:55And my wife is Liza and Eliza Powell. There's actually a Powell house uh in uh in Philadelphia. Uh Eliza Powell had kind of what's termed of a flirtatious relationship with Washington. And they hold up this letter as being this is quite a randy letter from George Washington to Eliza Powell. and you you read it [laughter] and you can't detect what's he saying. I I don't I you know
13:20it's that I quite like you first of all madam it's you know uh you know it's yeah you know madam uh it's I think they're transactioning there's a transaction involving maybe a horse and carriage and you know the horses will lead quite proudly or so it is said it's that kind of joke that's not a joke and and this is held up as if this is held
13:44up as an example of >> his tremendous humor yeah his uh his great banter as you guys would say. But isn't it brilliant that he was so boring? Because what you absolutely don't want is a Napoleon in this situation, right? He often didn't say the wrong thing because he didn't say much. And what's really funny is that he's surrounded by these brilliant uh brilliant men who've been trained in
14:06the classics who are very witty and they're these, you know, bamos are flying left and right and he's just in the corner uh with his rotted teeth and I'm told also flared uh ample hips. I think he had kind of a big ass, but we'll talk about that another time. And massive hands. >> Yeah, massive hands. But what you can't take away from Washington is he, as has
14:32been said about him, he was the indispensable man. Uh he was very courageous and uh he he kept that thing going. He kept that, you know, you wouldn't want to spin the dial again without Washington leading these skirmishes. You wouldn't want to take that chance. He really was the right guy at the right time. And do you think in America he's still seen as kind of like the father of the nation or
14:59is that is that just too 1950s an attitude? It's so funny. I don't think he's as, you know, discussed. And again, I'm in my own bubble, so I don't speak for the United States of America. And um any legitimate historian listening to me would is already rolling their eyes so much that they're blind. But I do think that Washington is very much like a marble statue. It's hard to get a grip on him.